Controlling one's functions

The chairman contemplates what it means to have a controlled function

"I suppose this was only to be expected," sighed the chairman of the insignificantly-sized investment company SmallBlue Planet as we retreated to the safety of The Wonky Calculator for a few pints of Percentage-Point Uplift. "Perhaps it was a shade ambitious to go for something that didn't simply involve alcohol," I agreed. "But I still think you had to try." To that point, the inaugural SmallBlue Planet Evening of Kulture had not proved a conspicuous success. On the face of it, a trip to the theatre had seemed a harmless and potentially enlightening way to kick off the New Year, but it wa...