A day in the life

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Fresh from his arrival by private jet, a carbon-neutral chairman discusses how many voles it takes to fill the Albert Hall

"Wasn't it awfully decent of Investec to make the whole shindig carbon neutral?" said the chairman of the insignificantly-sized investment company SmallBluePlanet as we post-mortemed this splendid organ's very own awards ceremony over a pint or two of Davidson's Leather Trousers at The Bechinoed Bassist. "Absolutely," I agreed. "I have lost count of the number of industry events I have attended that have been tainted only by the nagging feeling my very presence was somehow damaging the planet. Whereas last night I was for the very first time able to relax completely, secure in the knowledg...

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